Sloman's Theory of General Negativity
The Sloman Laws
- Sloman's First Law is Life's a shit and then you die.
- Sloman's Second Law is It will go wrong.
The Sloman Way
- The First Way is Believe nothing.
- The Second Way is Trust no-one - not even yourself.
The Law of Happiness
Are you feeling down? Don't. You'll never be this happy again. It can only get worse. It's all downhill from now on in, mate.
This is derived by applying Sloman's 2nd Law to Sloman's 1st Law.
The Law of Illusion
If you experience a moment of joy—don't be fooled! It's an Illusion.
Taking the first element of Sloman's 1st Law,
Life's a shit——S1.1
it can be shown that this is equivalent to
It is, therefore It's shit——S1.2 (c.f. Descartes)
By taking the case when S1.2 is not true we arrive at the Law of Illusion.
Murphy's Law
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
From S1.2 anything that is is shit.
And from Sloman's 2nd Law, it will go wrong.
Hence Murphy's Law.
You may also note that this same analysis proves the disappearance of socks but cannot provide
the precise location (c.f. Heisenberg, 1929).
Ageing
This is predicted by Sloman's Laws 1 and 2. As ageing has been proved to happen, this
can be taken as a strong case for the validity of Sloman's laws.
The Way
The Way is our only guard against The Law.
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